About Illuminaughty

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(All unsolicited. Except maybe the goat.)

🗣️ “I joined as a joke. Now my plants whisper stock tips.”
— Freya, Level 2 Moonflake

🗣️ “I came for the merch. I stayed for the prophecies. I now live in a repurposed IKEA altar.”
— Taj, Unverified Prophet (Pending)

🗣️ “The mug told me my future. Then it spilled it.”
— Marcos, Former Skeptic / Current Oracle Intern

🗣️ “The hoodie summoned my soulmate. Or a cryptid. Still unclear.”
— Aria, Soft Cult Aestheticist

🗣️ “I wore the shirt. Three pigeons saluted me. One of them left a map.”
— Liam, Chaos Enthusiast

🗣️ “I opened a cereal box and accidentally opened my third eye. 10/10 would transcend again.”
— Rae, Enlightened & Hungry

🗣️ “Not a cult. Not a brand. Not a clue. Exactly what I needed.”
— Anonymous (probably Gary)