IDIOT_LADDER_7.0 (Declassified)

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IDIOT_LADDER_7.0 (Declassified)

Internal Memo | Bleat Box Billionaires Holdings (Redacted)
Timestamp: 3:33 a.m. | File path: /vault/scripts/ladders/idiot_ladder_7.0.baa

Subject: Replacement Archetypes for Public Manipulation Campaigns – Q4 Draft

Candidate A: “Broomy”

• Form: Sentient push broom.
• Hook: Speaks only in motivational quotes      and threatens corporate greed with interpretive sweeping.
• Demographic: Blue-collar mystics, TikTok      janitor-core, confused Marxists.

Candidate B: “RACCOONJESUS”

• Form: Trash-diving raccoon with      cybernetic halo.
• Hook: Preaches dumpster minimalism.
• Monetization Path: TrashCoin,      RaccoonPilgrimage NFTs.
• Viral Potential: HIGH. (Tested well with      Dystopian Vlog Moms and crypto shamans.)

Candidate C: “Soupface”

• Form: Bowl of tomato bisque with googly      eyes.
• Hook: Speaks in riddles, scalds critics.
• Focus Group Response: Confusion, tears,      and 8% stock increase in Campbell’s.
• Risk: May become self-aware.

Candidate D: “Glorb”

• Form: Ambiguous blob. Possibly jelly.      Possibly ideology.
• Hook: Undefined on purpose.
• Tagline: “Glorb is everything. And      nothing. Buy now.”
• Emergency Kill Code: [REDACTED]

Note: All candidates must be capable of attracting meme-based investments, cult-like loyalty, and plausible deniability upon collapse. We recommend launching 2-3 simultaneously to avoid saturation risk.
— Signed, Lilith Von Zucchini, Chief Narrative Sculptor

Mindy downloads dreams,
Control lost in scented mist—
Cookies whisper threats.

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